This is Shiva after a long day of watching us pack.
This is Starr. He hates me normally, but has actually been allowing me to look at him this last week, which is a real sign of affection for him.
Kimba decided we weren’t allowed to take her photo this weekend….
Saturday was ‘packing up the craft room day’. I got nearly all of it done. Throughout the process I was ruthless with my de-cluttering. I filled one wheelie bin and then filled another 4 bin liners with things that I really truly just don’t need. I have 3 crates of fabric to go to Mum’s, who is SO excited to be adding to her quilting stash. The beauty of it going there is if I ever need any fabric I can just go to her place and go through her stash! I also have several items going to my MIL. The rest got taken to my friend E’s house on Sunday to be stored. There are a few things coming with me, but not a lot.
I was so exhausted in Saturday night. And my legs were absolutely killing me from squatting and standing all day. But we decided the best cure for the sore legs was to go for a walk. We haven’t been walking together for ages, and it was really nice. Although we were both quite sore so it was a fairly gentle paced walk…
It got me thinking though. My health, which 12 months ago had gotten so great, was up the crapola again. Going for a 2.5km walk took over half an hour. I can feel that I am gaining weight at a rate of knots. I have been dealing with the recent extra stresses in my life the way I have always dealt with things, but stuffing copious amounts of food down my gob.
These last few weeks I have been so tired and drained. I have started feeling like the old Kylie, who let’s face it, I hated. But I also know I am not in the right place in my head to be counting calories again. I also don’t want to go back to OA as I found the meetings quite depressing and also felt like the constant talking about food and food issues was fuelling my obsession with it.
This morning I got on the scales to assess the recent damage. Actually not as bad as I expected, but also not good. Not good at all. I jumped on the bike to ride to work this morning for the first time in 2 weeks, and I felt it. 2 weeks of no exercise and lots of food does a LOT of damage to your health and fitness level. I spent the ride thinking about my goals.
Last year when I was actively losing weight I was obsessive. Scary obsessive. It was all I thought about, all I talked about, all I dreamed about. I don’t want to go back there. But I do want to get back to where I was physically and even beyond. So I am doing this slowly. My first goal is to lose 12.4kgs (because I like to be at round numbers). The weight is not important so I will not record it, I just want to lose that amount first up. I also want to get my cycling fitness back so I can easily do a 20km ride again (I can still do it, just not easily). And I want to start jogging,
They are my goals. Timeframe is 3-4 months – no set date as that just freaks me out. Once I get there – and I WILL get there – I will re-assess.
5 comments:
you have your fabulous new runners now so there's no holding you back! It's all acheiveable too so just keep your head down and keep chipping away
Yes, you will get there Kylie. As we all know you have to be in the right frame of mind and it sounds as though it's happening for you. 2010 is going to be a great year♥
PS How could I forget to comment on your beautiful puddy cats. Oh they are gorgeous, even Kimba's back. We also have 3 puddy cats and 2 dogs, oh and 4 fish♥
Animals know, don't they? Far smarter than we give them credit for!
Good work on the declutter, ruthless is the way to go. I wait til I'm really shitty about something before I attack my wardrobe, its the only way I'll ever get rid of anything!
PS - My puppy Lulu sleeps in exactly the same position as Shiva in that pic!
Just reading over your old posts.... I feel your pain, I really do... I lost 33kg and felt great, was really fit and then I started uni as a mature age entry student, my life changed so much, I was OBSESSED with calorie counting and wouldn't go out with friends because I didn't want to be put in the position of having to choose food I didn't know the calories of... I was miserable.. So I started eating and haven't stopped for the past year and 9 months... And I've put on that 33kg again and it's creeping up even more. I'm medicating my feelings and problems with food and I feel disgusting. I so badly want to get back into exercise but I'm scared!! It's so much harder now that I'm bigger again... I go to a personal training session once a week and that's it..
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone... and that you sound like you have the determination and courage to get through!!
Em xox
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