Still Struggling

I have officially entered panic mode.  Between my Achilles injury and now this blasted cold that is making breathing difficult, I am so concerned that I will not be able to do our Heyson hike which is in only 3 weeks.  In fact, I am almost positive it will be too hard.  :o(

I am so disappointed.  Ross and I are going to cram training in, but at the moment it is just too hard to breathe.  We are preparing for the fact that we may not be doing this until next season (the trail re-opens in May).  I am hoping and praying all will be well, but it is too risky to do it when under-prepared as we will have no phone contact while we are out there.  Everyone please cross your fingers that I wake up tomorrow completely healed and can do this hike.

Nothing else really going on here.  I have a meeting tomorrow of a new Writers group that I am looking forward to, although I have not done any writing for the last month or so.  Life, as usual, gets in the way...

I probably won't get online much over the weekend, so have a great weekend and i will catch you all next week.

xox

Writing Zone

I am in a bit of a writing zone at the moment.  I spent a few hours yesterday working on the next chapter of the book.  I finished chapter 6 and am part way through chapter 7.  I really really wish I didn't have to be at work today as I would have loved to have spent several hours today just mulling over the next part.  But that's life.  I have very few plans for the weekend so hopefully I can get some more done.

I started reading the next Book Club book last night as well.  It is called We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver.

Again, this one is very different to the type of book I normally read, but I think I will enjoy it.  I am not far enough into it yet to be sure.  It is about a boy - Kevin - who kills 7 classmates and 3 teachers.  But it is not about him so much as his mother.  It is written as a series of letters written by Kevin's mother, Eva, to her estranged husband.  She starts writing them a year and a half after the killings and uses the letters to try and sort out what made Kevin who he was and turned him into someone who would do this.  She has guilt over the fact that she never wanted him in the first place and tries to decipher if she made him into this person or if he was just born evil.

I am not going to do 5 daily goals today, I am going to do 10 goals for the next few days.

Goals
1)  Drink enough water every day
2)  Monitor food intake
3)  Go for a bike ride
4)  Go for a walk
5)  Finish book club book
6)  Finish chapter 7
7)  Housework
8)  Paperwork
9)  Return overdue library books
10)  Practice Tarot

xox

It's Friday!

No Running Group again last night.  My Achilles is still sore.  Not painful agony kinda sore, more annoying.  But it gets worse when I run.  So I skipped last night.  This morning it is really tight.  If it is okay next week I'll go back.  If not I might wait another term before rejoining the group, but will run on my own when the pain has gone.  I am too slow to jump back in part way through the term.  I can't afford a doctor/physio/podiatrist or whatever the hell I need, so I am going to let it heal the old fashioned way.  Time and rest.

So instead last night I plugged in the laptop and got stuck into some writing.  I have finished the first draft of another children's book.  I am not sure about this one.  I will keep working on it, but it may not get to the publishers.  I love the concept I have come up with, but am really unsure about the way I have put it together.  I might need to put it aside and come back to it fresh in 6 months or so.

I have also done a couple more chapters of the novel.  I am now working on chapter 6.  It is interesting, my writing tutor said once that as soon as you get to about 7000 words, you start revising in your head and wanting to go back and change things.  I am up to about 10,000 words and that is exactly what I want to do. but she also said not to.  She said if you get bogged down in editing the first few chapters you will never finish the first draft.  So I am just plowing ahead and trying to get everything down.  I am actually a little stunned I am as far through as that.  I didn't expect to get there so quickly.  But it is going well and I am enjoying the process.

Tomorrow I have another Tarot workshop.  I am really looking forward to it.  I haven't done as much practice as I should have to prepare for it, but that's life.

Nothing else planned for the weekend.  Hope you all have a good one.

xox

I'm Back

Wow, Long time no blog. :o)

I have had a long weekend, and I have loved every second of it.  Coming back to work today has been hard, but we gotta do what we gotta do.

It started Saturday when I made my way into the city to pick up the new bike helmet I won.  Yep – I won a helmet!  I never win things so I was super stoked.  It is a Gear Up Girl Helmet for the bike ride in November.  The first 100 to register got one and I was in the first group.  YAY!

Saturday afternoon I spent shopping with Em.  We had a great time as usual.

Sunday morning was Book Club.  It was a really interesting group because this time we all had very different opinions on the book.  I had a great time.  From there I met up with my sister and niece in the city for my Niece’s 13thi birthday shopping trip.  I can’t believe she’s a teenager already.

Monday morning I caught up with a friend for coffee then went to a Tea exhibition at the Unley Council Museum.  Sounds strange, but it was really interesting. 

Then yesterday I spent writing and reading and relaxing.  It was fabulous.

I did no exercise at all (other than walking around the city) and I didn’t think about my food.  Strangely, I also didn’t overeat which is bizarre in a way.  I barely turned the computer on over the 4 days which was also fabulous.  I am becoming too reliant on the blasted thing so it was good to make the decision to avoid as much as possible.

But I am back at work today and already straight back into it.  I wish I had taken the whole week off, but I have more time off in October so I just have to hold out until then.

xox

Aiming for 100

Ever since I started seriously riding over 2 years ago I have talked about doing a 100km ride. Well, time to stop talking and start DOING! Before 2010 is out I will have ridden 100kms in 1 day. My PB to date is around 75kms and that was well over a year and a half ago. This weekend just gone I did 42kms. I figure if I add 5-10kms every couple of weeks, I will easily be there by the end of the year.

This Saturday is a ride day and I want to do at least 50kms.  I need to go to the Library and then I thought I would visit my Grandma in the Nursing Home.  My place, to the library, to Grandma's, to home is a little over 50kms I think.  I don't mind if it takes me all day.  I just want to rack up those kms.  Each day I do a big ride is one step close to the goal of 100.

Yesterday I finished working on my next Children's Picture Book story and was brave and sent it to a publisher.  I sent it to the same publisher that did not accept my first one.  It is very different to the first one though so I am hoping to get a better response.  The first one is currently with my second choice of publishers.  But while I am waiting the agonising 4 months to hear back from these places, I will start working on the next one.  I have a few in draft form, I just need to work out which one I will work on next.

Don't forget to check out the Give Away I am running for 3 free "Photo Cards by Kylie Ann".  Competition runs until Sunday night.

xox

Most Boring Training Session Ever

I had a training session for work this morning and it was the single most boring training session I have ever been to in my life.  For starters, despite being advised it was an "advanced" session for one of our internal programs, everything that was covered is stuff I have been doing for over 3 years.  Then you have the fact that the facilitator spent so much time wandering around helping individual people rather than talking to the group that anything that may have come up for me to learn did not get covered.  4 hours of my life I will never get back....  Thankfully my boss is great and will be passing on my detailed feedback to head office.

I have now finished chapter 3 of my novel, first draft that is.  This chapter is a little boring, but I will fix it up after everything is done.  I just want to get it down then I will edit, edit and edit again.  I can't believe I have done 3 chapters so quickly.  It is a great feeling.

Off to the library tonight to swap my books over.  I love the library.  I was thinking a while ago of going back to TAFE to study to become a Librarian.  I still may look into it. 

Nothing else happening here.  Hope everyone has had a great hump day.  Tomorrow is my 3rd wedding anniversary.  I can't wait!

xox

NOTE:  I did get the comments left on the blog yesterday but there was some sort of error going on with Bloggers moderation function and I was unable to publish them.  I just wanted you to know I did receive the comments, I just can't get them to show up.  Hopefully it will be sorted by now though.

Cigarettes!

That is what Grandad has starting yelling out in his sleep.  And of course, every time he does, one of us has to get up in case he is in the kitchen looking for them.  He's wily.  Half the time he can't get up on his own, but when he wants a smoke, he can get up and he can do it quietly...

My doctors visit last night was good.  We got the icky stuff out of the way then we had a chat.  She is aware of the events in my life over the last 15 months or so and has been concerned about me teetering over the edge and into a depression.  I will be honest, I have been concerned about it myself sometimes.  She gave me some good ideas to try, herbal teas, vitamins etc, but is also prepared to give me something stronger or refer me to a counsellor if I need it (counsellor first though).  I have not taken her up on that, but it is good to know the option is there and that my doc is taking me seriously. 

One thing she did say is that I need at least one night of uninterrupted sleep a week.  I have sleeping tablets that she prescribed me last year.  I'll be honest, the bottle isn't even open.  I have never had one.  But her suggestion is that I take one on a Friday or Saturday night and let the others listen out for Grandad.  I talked to Ross & MIL and they are happy with that, since I do take up most of the slack at nights.  I am nervous about taking a sleeping tablet, but I will give it a go this weekend.

I didn't end up getting out for a run last night though.  And I also didn't ride in to work this morning.  I am struggling so much with the cold this year and I slept in this morning. 

I got through in record time though, traffic was light due to school holidays, so I spent half an hour writing before I got stuck into the pile on my desk.  I have started Chapter 3 now.  It is coming along and I am starting to get a real feel for the character.  One of the sub plots has begun and about half of the characters have been introduced.  And the main thing is, I am enjoying it!

OK, I have a crap load of work to do so I better get stuck into it.  Till tomorrow...

xox

Still nothing happening

I am debating if I am going to blog on days like this when there is really nothing happening. I am sure it is boring. But sometimes I just feel like writing.

Another weekend spent mostly at home, trying to give MIL something of a break from constantly taking care of Grandad. Saturday I spent reading, writing, and cooking. Ross was at work all day which was the only down side as I really miss him on weekends, but he is so happy in his job I would never let him know that I am kinda feeling a bit lost without him there. Thankfully Grandad takes up a lot of time and energy while he is up.

It is weird, he is only awake for an hour or two at a time, but it is so intense. You have to watch him constantly as he is always waiting for you to turn your back so he can try and get up to look for his cigarettes – which we have to hide or he sneaks them into bed and tries to light up in bed in the middle of the night. Fortunately we have heavy wooden chairs on a tiled floor so we can always hear the scrape as he pushes the chair back. However Saturday afternoon we obviously hadn’t pushed him in far enough and he managed to slide off the chair. MIL caught him just as he was about to throw a glass on the floor looking through the cupboard for those blasted cigarettes.

Anyway, I did get some writing done. I have now written 2 chapters of the novel and I also got to work on the next children’s picture book story I am preparing to send to the publisher. I have forwarded the first one to my second choice of publishers and will prepare this one for the first choice. Right now it is still too long so needs a lot of tightening up. Hopefully it will be ready in a month or so.

Saturday afternoon I felt like baking and made some Peanut Butter Choc Chip Cookies. These are seriously the easiest cookies I have ever made. Anyone who has kids who like to cook, this is the recipe for you!

Sunday I got up early to make Ross breakfast before work. I found a recipe for Buttermilk Pancakes and thought I would give it a go. Can I just say – YUMMMMMMO! I will NEVER get those pancake shake mixes again. These are so much better.

I spent the rest of the day just reading and helping out with Grandad, as well as doing some chores etc around the house.

What I didn’t do was get out for a run or a ride. I am really struggling right now. It is cold, I am tired, and, well, nothing else really. These two things keep me off the roads. I need to find a way to make myself do it. I know I feel better after I get out there, but getting out there is so hard.

This morning I was so exhausted I cheated and brought the car to work. Grandad was up 4 or 5 times last night (I lost count). Every time I was just warm, or finally comfortable, or dozing, I heard the inevitable grunting and the springs bouncing as he tried to get up. So up I got….

OK, tonight, assuming I get home from the doctors before dark (nothing serious just a check up following on from the events in Feb) I will go for a run. No excuses.

xox

Novel

So yesterday when I did my 10 for 10 update I mentioned I had written the first sentence of my novel.  After I blogged I wrote another sentence, then another, then another.  The result?  By last night the first draft of the first chapter was done!  This morning I started chapter 2.

Now this may not seem like a lot to many.  But you need to understand I have been working on the concept for this novel for over a year.  By September last year I had the concept nutted out, the main plot, several subplots, all plotted out and planned.  The characters were written, the relationships straight in my head.  Yet I just couldn't seem to write it. 

All of a sudden it just started coming out.  The weird thing is that I have not looked at my notes since the end of last year.  In fact, they are in storage.  So right now I am winging it.  But maybe that is what I needed to do.  Get some distance from the planning stage so I was free to create.  While I am going strong I am not going to get my notes from storage.  I will write as much as I can then refer to the notes when I get stuck.  It seems to be working so far.  I know I have already changed some of the characters names and slightly changed some of the relationships, and even dropped one character.  But for now it seems to be working, and these are things I can always change back down the track.

I am feeling very motivated right now, so will go with the flow for as long as I can.  If I can write one chapter a week, the first draft will be finished by the end of the year.  Fingers crossed!

xox

EDIT TO ADD:
I forgot to say this the other day.  I heard back from the Publisher I sent my children's picture book to and they have not accepted the manuscript.  I will now put it all together again and send it to another publisher.  I have another couple in mind to send it to so I will keep going until I run out!

Productive Day

Well, despite being unwell yesterday, it ended up being a very productive day.  After getting my recipes udated both on my blog and on my own computer, I decided it was time to do some work.  I did some work on the childrens story I am currently editting, and then I did some long overdue research into possible Publishers.  I am pleased with the progress of the story, although it does still need some work.  And I have chosen 2 Publishers to send it to, I just need to decide which one to go to first. 

I spent the afternoon after my work was done knitting and chilling out, trying to will myself better so I could go out last night.

Didn't happen.

I was so disappointed.  Not only is the band about to go on their US Tour which means they won't be performing in SA again till the end of the year, I didn't get to wear my new shoes or my new outfit.  But, Date Night has been rescheduled to next weekend so I can wear it all then.  :o)

This morning I am still feeling a little "tender" in the tummy, but I am going to ride to the flat to clean anyway.  I don't have a whole lot of choice as it has to be done.  But I will just take it easy.

xox

This and That

Firstly I would like to say thank you for the lovely comments yesterday. I really appreciate it. I am working through my fears I think. I know it will take time. Many years of this need to conform has ingrained it deep within me, and I know it will take time and effort to break out of that. So thank you.

Last night was my 2nd writing class. I am loving this class and will be so sad next week as it is the last week. In just 2 short lessons I have learned so much and already I have made improvements on the stories I am working hard on to prepare to be sent to a publisher. I am trying to put my positive thinking into play here too. I WILL become a published children’s author, it is just a matter of working hard and being patient. But I WILL get there.

We have started the big pack up for the move as well. I can’t believe I am moving again. I hate moving. Ross took several car loads to the storage shed yesterday. It is hard working out what to take and what to store. The beauty of our storage shed is we have 24/7 access so we can get in there at any time to get to things if we need them. It means our camping gear, and my sewing machine, and a whole heaps of things that we use occasionally can be kept there and out of our way when we move to Di’s house.

The Biggest Loser is finally starting to inspire me this season - yes it has taken a while. These contestants, after being in the house for just a few months, are about to run (or may have already since I missed last nights episode) 21kms!

TWENTY ONE KILOMETRES!!!!!!!!

After just a few months! And I have been half-heartedly playing around and bullshitting for months. Time to take stock and really put myself on the line again. I currently have a terrible cold and can’t breathe through my nose, but as soon as I am over it I am getting back out there. I went out and bought some really cool support and compression ankle braces the other day.

My ankles don’t hurt when I run, but they ache for a few days afterwards so I am hoping these will help. I will let you know when I am back on the track.

xox

Writing for Childrens Picture Books Class

Last night was my Writing Class.  It was a 4 hour class, which after a 9 hour day at work is a loooooong time to be sitting scribbling notes.  But I tell you what - it went by fast.

The Teacher is Sally Heinrich who has been writing and illustrating childrens books for over 20 years.  She was lovely.  So real and so easy to talk to.  I have done many writing classes in the last few years, and I have to say, a lot of the Teachers are amazingly full of themselves.  But Sally was lovely. 

We did some exercises and she gave us great tips for getting the creative juices flowing.  Talked a lot about structure, different kinds of Childrens books and lots of other interesting things.  We had to read out some of the exercises we did, which was incredibly scary because I don't usually share my writing.  But it was also good because if I am going to be brave enough to share my writing with a Publisher I need to be brave enough to share it with others first.

One thing she said was that for the next 3 weeks while the class is running (and also continuing on after if we are interested in pursuing writing further) we need to take at least 15 minutes a day for writing.  Any type of writing.  As long as words are coming out.  My first thought was - "Crap, where am I going to find the time for that?"  Then I realise, I write most days anyway.  Here.  So I am already doing this.  What I now need to do is make time several days a week to do some focussed childrens writing.  Be it exercises, working on new stories, or polishing existing ones. 

Here is the thing.  One of my 10 for 10 goals is to send a Childrens story to a Publisher by the end of the year.  I have moved that forward to by the end of June.  By the end of June I want at least one (although maybe more) stories ready to go out into the world.  Which means by the end of the year I will start getting feedback from Publishers.

This is scary.  But that is what change is.  Scary.  And if I don't do it now, I will probably never do it.

xox

EDIT:  Forgot my Daily Goals.

1)  Take some time to write
2)  Go to the library and pay my overdue fine
3)  Drink my water
4)  Have a healthy lunch & dinner
5)  Clean the kitchen up

Reiki and Writing

I am very excited today.  I have enrolled for my Reiki Course.  I have wanted to do this for several years but the timing just hasn't been right.  But now I feel very strongly that it is time to do it.  I have been looking at different Reiki Teachers for a while and I honestly could not choose between 2 of them.  So I have decided to a class with each of them.  It is a bit expensive to do twice, but I feel I will get more out of it if I learn from more people.  The first one is at the end of this month and the other one is in the middle of April.

Tonight I have a Writing Class.  It is for writing Childrens Picture Books.  I have written a few but have not been brave enough to send them on to Publishers.  Since that is one of my goals this year I am doing this class so I can fine tune my books before choosing one to send off.

Now I know I haven't done my Daily Goals lately, but it has been because I have been som damn busy I am barely fitting all my 'have to's' in.  But I will start again and see how I go.

Todays Goals
1)  Drink 1.5L of water
2)  Ride to and from my class tonight
3)  Get all my work done so I can leave a bit early
4)  Try not to eat too much chocolate to get me through my late class tongiht
5)  No lovely bakery items for lunch....

xox