Thursday, September 9, 2010

Question Day

Hi All

As any of you who read this regularly know, Ross's Grandad's health started declining rapidly about 3 months ago.  He lived with us for about 6 weeks, and has been in a Nursing home for about 6-8 weeks.  Yesterday afternoon he passed away quickly and quietly.

In that vein, my questions are a bit different today.  I understand if you choose not to answer.

1)  Have you lost someone close to you?
2)  Do you think funerals are important?
3)  What are your thoughts on children attending funerals?
4)  How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?

xox

8 comments:

Kylie said...

1) Have you lost someone close to you?
Too many, starting with my Dad when I was only a child.

2) Do you think funerals are important?
Very. Although I have been to some that left me cold, I truly think a well done funeral gives the friends and family a proper chance to say goodbye.

3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals?
I always thought that children should not go to funerals, and I was not allowed to go to my Dads. I wish I had though. It took me years to accept his death and I may have dealt better had i had the opportunity to say goodbye.
Then about 6 years ago a young boy I knew very well died. There were lots of children at his funeral of course. And looking at them during and after the service I think they got a lot from it. It helped them understand what had happened to their friend and let them say good bye in their own way. In a strange way it also brought a certain joy to the funeral, as they played after and it reminded me that life does go on.

4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?
By never forgetting them. Talking about them. Remembering why and how they were so special. Ross & I spent last night talking abut Grandad. He told me stories from when he was a child visiting Grandad's farm. It was a very beautiful moment.

spunkysuzi said...

1) Have you lost someone close to you?-yes i have lost a few.
2) Do you think funerals are important?-for some people they are, for me i don't want any service i just want to be cremated and remembered.
3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals?-I have been to funerals with children i'm torn between them wanting to be there and any emotional problems it could cause.
4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?- They are always in my heart!

Emily said...

1) Have you lost someone close to you? Yes, friends, grandparents, it never gets easier
2) Do you think funerals are important? Yes, I think they are important to say good bye, but I want mine to be a happy occasion of remember the good things, not tears and sadness.
3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals? I think it's a good idea, I went to funerals as a child and I'm glad I went, it is something I would have seriously regretted when I was older if I did not. With my Nan's funeral, I attended the service, but not the crematorium and I think that was a good way to do it.
4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones? Visit the graves or plaques often, keep them in my memory and my heart and always remember the good times.

MelBird said...

First up - so sorry for your loss. Lots of hugs to Ross and his mum.

1) Have you lost someone close to you? Yes, my Nan.
2) Do you think funerals are important? Yes for certain people. Everyone says goodbye in their own way.
3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals? Children need the closure and to say goodbye as well so yes, I think its a good idea.
4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones? My nan passed away just as I was leaving my ex hubby and I was broke and couldn't attend the funeral in the UK. In a way I'm glad as it was quite traumatic by all accounts as my mum was very distraught. I know my nan is always with me......we are very similar and i know she is looking after me :)

Trace said...

I am very sorry for your loss Kylie, Hugs to you and yours!

1) Have you lost someone close to you? Yes :'(
2) Do you think funerals are important? They are apart of life, how that person (their Family) decided to celebrate their life. If you decide to go or is a personal thing.
3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals? I think it is important I didn't go to my best friends funeral when i was 16 and it has always stuck with me. It is a sad time but a time to say goodbye Death is a part of life.
4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?
I am the crazy person that still talks to them LOL it comfits me.

Megan said...

My thoughts are with you, Ross and Di - always a hard time :(

1) Have you lost someone close to you?
Yes

2) Do you think funerals are important?
Not for me - I generally avoid them at all costs. To me the grieving process and saying goodbye is very personal, and not something I want to do with other people.

3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals?
I think that is a personal choice for the child and their guardians, regardless of their age. I have known some kids who have suffered for not being allowed to go to a funeral when they wanted the opportunity to say goodbye. I've also known kids to be traumatised by being taken along when they were not emotionally able to cope with it. Every child is different and needs to be treated as an individual.

4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?
I keep momentos that remind me of them. My nan's clock sits on my bookshelf, even though it doesn't work and is very old fashioned (it actually stopped working at the time she died, oddly enough). I also wear her wedding ring every day.

Jess @ THIR said...

Sorry I haven't been ready much. And sorry to hear about Ross's Granddad.

1) Have you lost someone close to you?
When I was 17, (October 14th, 2002) my pop passed away. It was very quick, I was with him the day before, and all he has was a problem with his foot. Next thing we know, he's in intensive care, and Mum is calling Dad to get us to the hospital asap, because he wasn't going to make it...

2) Do you think funerals are important?
I personally, am not big on funerals. I am in no way spiritual, religious or whatever, but I am of the opinion, once they are gone, they're gone. The person that I had to look at in the coffin, that wasn't my pa. The person who got stuck in the ground, wasn't my pa. He's still around, but attending a funeral, visiting a gravesite... that's just not it for me.

3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals?
My Pa (same one) asked me to attend a funeral for his mother when she died when I was quite young, and I didn't really get it.
Although, the influence of everyone else around me made me cry. I think it's fine as long as they are mature enough to understand what is going on. And they know why people are sad. They are also good for cheering people up later on. Seeing the new generation, that the person who passed away is not completely gone, they live on in spirit, and in the children.

4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?
Remembering. That's about it. In stories, at occasions, even just thinking about something that happened in the past (like now).
I don't think they're ever gone as long as they're remembered. My pa still looks out for me every day. I do think it sucks that he didn't get to see me at my best (ie now) but he still knows. He'll be proud of me when I get there.

Emz said...

1) Have you lost someone close to you?
I'm very lucky in that I've only lost both my grandfathers ... but I wasn't close to either of them. I dread the day that someone close to me passes. I'm not sure how I'll handle it.

2) Do you think funerals are important?
I agree that it's a personal choice ... if the person the funeral is for was against them then I strongly believe in honouring their wishes. If they didn't have much of an opinion of it and the friends and family really wanted to remember them with a funeral, then by all means do it..

3) What are your thoughts on children attending funerals?
I think it's important for children to be allowed to attend, no matter how young. They need to be able to feel included and that they can say goodbye properly.

4) How do you honour the memory of passed loved ones?
I've been to a few funerals and they've all been different... By far the 'best' one I've been to was my ex boyfriend's nanna .. it was very small and they showed lots of old photos of her in a slideshow and a history of her and funny stories. It didn't go for very long but it was just really perfect for that family. It was the only time I saw my ex cry in 2 years.